One of the good things about taking a moment to breathe is that it allows me some time to look at what I’m doing and see if it’s what I really want. Human beings can be predictable so long as we don’t complicate or over-think things, and typically, we tend to do what we want.
As you can see in the header image, I look back at my initial approach to this project blog and it seems I was trying harder to impress rather than express myself, and looking for applause rather than promoting my cause. Not that that was actually the case, but a few friends pointed out that they didn’t see the passion in my writing here for this project blog that they see from knowing me. I have to agree with them, as some entries here feel rather forced.
I attribute this to the fact I definitely had a lot of scattered ideas and a lot going on. But excuses are unacceptable, and I like to take responsibility by allowing myself to admit it’s a learning process and I’m narrowing down my focus the more I spend exploring where I want to go and what I want to do.
For starters, I am seeing myself as more of a freelance agent at least for a few years before I see myself as running my own organization. There are some advantages for having a formal business organization (especially since American law favors business organizations), but until I’m out of graduate school, I think the real priority after classwork is acquiring, developing, and improving my skills set for use in the work I want to do. To that end, I’ll be updating the project goals and leaving the old goals up on their respective pages so that people can see my history and growth on this project blog. It’s not about me trying to fit into this project blog, it’s this project blog finally starting to reflect me and what I want to do.
The other night, during dinner with my colleagues, when I pulled up my smart phone and showed them what Kiva is (who I’m hoping to get a summer internship with), they said that they would personally endorse me in any way possible because of how I was busy wanting to make a difference in the world and share the stories of people struggling to make their life circumstances better over dinner and from my phone. Yup: I was trying to match people with Kiva borrowers over dinner and have them donate on the spot from my smart phone. That’s exactly like how I kept pointing people out to Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch to save the world with the click of a button and become half-minute heroes.
The point I’m trying to make here is, maybe it’s more about this project being a reflection of me rather than trying to find a cause as a bandwagon jumper–in other words, being an activist to be “cool”.
As I’m discovering about myself, I don’t need to travel and save the world by promoting some cause. If I can make someone smile, I’m already making a difference in the world. If I can improve the immediate environment around me instead of wishing I was somewhere else doing something big and important, then I am already a hero.
So for everyone who has been following this blog up to now, thank you for still following! But this is going in a direction different from what it started out as. I can promise one thing though: you’re going to like where it’s going. And if not, hey: I know I like where it’s going from here.